


hey, didn't see you there

by Radio Rascal (Vagrants)



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Animated (2007)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 02:11:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17654042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vagrants/pseuds/Radio%20Rascal
Summary: Two cross-factional couples accidentally discover each other's secrets, resulting in mild shenanigans.





	hey, didn't see you there

**Author's Note:**

> the romance is very light, just letting you know if you thought this was gonna have, like, Kissy Content

Under cover of a half moon, he sat by the lake. White light gleamed off his plating, making him look almost unreal; for Megatron, the entire situation indeed felt like a dream. There was Optimus Prime, his greatest enemy, sitting vulnerable and unaware—and yet, perfectly safe.

Megatron stomped a branch to attract Optimus’s attention. He turned, finials perked, and smiled. “I thought you weren’t going to show up.”

“It’s harder than you think, getting away undetected from Lugnut,” Megatron replied.

“I already thought it was hard.”

“Well, there you go.” Megatron sat next to Optimus. He faced him and leaned down, but stopped part way through, leaving Optimus to close the distance. Being kissed was odd. Being kissed by an Autobot was _bizarre_.

For a moment after, the silence was content and unbroken. He had little appreciation for organic beauty, but Optimus enjoyed it, and it was easier to hide in the woods, easier to pass off absences as long patrols.

“How have you been…?” Optimus asked.

“The same.” It had been two weeks, and for once, nothing interesting happened. Megatron said nothing more for a second, until he saw Optimus looking expectant, and remembered what he’d been told about polite social interaction. “How are you?”

“It’s been quiet for us too. A few days ago, Bumblebee got in trouble for racing a civilian, again,” Optimus said. “And Sari was in there this time! She could have gotten hurt.”

“The little one can be quite irresponsible.”

“Yeah, but he means well. He’s been acting off recently, actually, I’m a little worried about him.”

“Off how?”

“He’s away a lot. I don’t know what kinds of trouble he’s getting up to when he’s by himself but I never hear about it, so I’m assuming he’s okay. I don’t want to ask him directly because he might feel confronted, and I don’t want to follow him…”

Megatron pointed to some movement among the bushes. He’d noticed it a second ago, but was now confident he knew what it was. “That’s him there, is it not?”

“Hey, yeah. Who’s that flying in?” Optimus gestured to an approaching jet. “This place is busy tonight…”

Megatron’s optics narrowed. “You don’t think…”

“No way.”

“Wouldn’t someone say that about us, too?”

Optimus was quiet.

“Which of my Decepticons is liaising with that yellow bug?”

“Megs, you have no right to sound so hostile.”

“I do if he has bad taste. Besides, I’m probably wrong—oh, that’s—Blitzwing?”

He transformed and landed on his feet. He didn’t notice them and walked right to where Bumblebee stood half sheltered among shrubs. Animated sounds of talking drifted down the bank, indistinct, but _friendly_ enough. Their silhouettes moved to make contact. Megatron no longer thought he was wrong.

He got up and headed their way. His stride was so long that Optimus had to run to keep up, and even then, he started to fall behind.

“Megatron, wait!” He was trying to sound quiet and failing.

Blitzwing and Bumblebee glanced over, and both sets of optics went wide.

“Blitzwing!” Megatron yelled, breaking into a run.

He screamed in response, switching to Random and jumping off with his jets. Transforming in midair, he shrieked away from the lake. Megatron mirrored him, leaving the Autobots to be awkward and alone together.

“Uh, hey Boss Bot,” Bumblebee said, averting his optics. “It’s not what it looks like, with Blitzwing...we, uh…”

“It’s okay, Bumblebee. You’re not in trouble.”

“Really?”

“I couldn’t punish you for doing something I’m doing.” Optimus paused. “I’m not sure what we’re doing is ‘wrong,’ anyway.”

“Wait, what you’re doing?” Bumblebee cocked his head. “Hey, yeah, why were you with Megatron anyway?”

“...I don’t know, Bumblebee, why were you here with Blitzwing?”

A second later, the gears clicked and Bumblebee nodded. “Okay. Talk about coincidences.” He waggled a digit in the direction they’d flown. “Should we go after ‘em?”

“No, they should be all right,” Optimus said. “At least I hope so.”

“Why’s bucket-head so mad anyway? So hypocritical.” Bumblebee, now calm and casual, started back the way he’d came from. “Might as well go back to base. I got no reason to wander around in all this nature like Prowl. You coming, Boss Bot?”

“I guess.” They probably weren’t coming back tonight, which was disappointing. At least Optimus knew what was “wrong” with Bumblebee now, and knowing there was another pair like himself and Megatron was a comfort. Maybe they could tell the rest of the team...in time.

* * *

Blitzwing hit the ground running and didn’t stop. Their mountain base provided many hiding places, but that meant nothing if he couldn’t put some distance between them first. He glanced back and saw Megatron running after him, as straight and lethal as a bullet.

“Why did I run away back to base?” he demanded of himself, switching to Hothead. “I have to hide from Lugnut now too!”

He switched to Icy and said, “There are more important things to worry about. He’s right behind me. Wow, he’s fast.”

The main room was empty, and there was no other way out. “Why did I come here if I knew it was a dead end! Agh!”

Megatron came in behind him, seething and growling like an enraged engine.

“Please! I can explain!” Blitzwing said, and then, through Icy, went on, “Actually, you probably don’t need an explanation. In fact I’d say you have everything figured out, and that’s why you’re chasing me.”

“You ingrate!” Megatron lunged for him.

Blitzwing jumped out of the way. “Please, Lord Megatron!” Random abruptly showed himself and cackled. “That was terrible form, sir! Use your legs more!”

Being criticized did not help Megatron’s mood, and he swiped a servo at Blitzwing’s head, barely missing. He jumped onto the console by the wall and kicked, albeit gently, into Megatron’s chest, pushing him away and creating some breathing room.

“Why are you so angry?” Blitzwing asked. “Weren’t you there with Optimus Prime? Shouldn’t I be demanding answers from you too, lord?”

“That’s precisely the point!” Megatron snarled, snatching at a leg.

Blitzwing over-corrected and fell off the platform, smashing into the ground. He flopped onto his back, sticking his arms out to catch whatever part Megatron was using to attack him at the moment. Impressive—he got both fists _and_ a foot in there.

“Why are you—agh—so upset? It’s not like I’ll—ee!—tell Lugnut you’re going out with Optimus!”

Megatron paused, his optics like furnaces upon Blitzwing’s face.

He continued quickly. “And you know what? I don’t care if you tell him I’m seeing Bumblebee. ...Ah. Hello Lugnut. How long have you been standing there?”

Megatron whipped his head around so fast it made an audible crack. Indeed, Lugnut stood in the door with a fresh cube of energon in his pincers. His mouth was slightly agape. Megatron looked down at Blitzwing.

“It’s not like I meant to tell him,” said Random.

“Lord Megatron?” Lugnut set his energon down, focusing entirely on the odd spectable into which he’d stumbled. “Is it true? You are dating the Autobot?”

“Yes, Lugnut.”

“How clever, my lord! You will gain not only their trust, but also their affection! Autobots are particularly weak about affection. Then you can break them down from inside. Truly brilliant, as usual.”

Megatron narrowed his optics. “Lugnut, you don’t understand. I am dating Optimus, as in spending time with him because I enjoy his company. Even if I had such intentions, he would never trust me enough to give me useful information. I do not wish to destroy him; I have had ample opportunity, and choose not to fight.”

Lugnut stared for a long moment. There were many ways he could react, and plenty of them were terrible. His pincers opened and closed, as if reflecting the intensity of his thoughts. Finally, he shifted, tilted his head as if to regard Megatron from a different angle, and nodded. “I’m happy for you, my lord.”

What else would anyone expect?

“What about me? I’m dating an Autobot too!”

Lugnut looked down at Blitzwing. “I’m ambivalent about your happiness.”

“Getting back to that.” Megatron removed his foot and fists from Blitzwing’s chest, allowing him to stand. “We can’t both date Autobots.”

“Why not?”

“The cohesion between our social groups could not possibly tolerate so much cross-pollination.”

“Why did you have to describe it like that?”

“One of us will have to break up.” Megatron sneered, leaning in close. “It will not be me.”

Blitzwing wilted. “Yes, I understand…”

“My lord?” Lugnut was tapping his pincers and sounded shy. “I request permission to leave base.”

“Why?”

“Well, to be honest, Lord Megatron...I have not used my alt mode in a few days. It’s starting to feel itchy in here. I would like to stay out the rest of the night.”

“All right. Report if anything happens.” He paused. “And do not engage Optimus Prime if you see him. Even if he’s with other Autobots. If he is present, leave it.”

Lugnut bowed. “Yes, Lord Megatron!” He turned and left them alone.

“I wonder if my little Bee is doing all right.” Blitzwing pouted. “I want to tell him. I want to talk to him as regular mechs, one more time.”

Megatron rolled his optics. “Fine. In fact, I’ll step out with you.”

* * *

By the time Optimus and Bumblebee returned to base, Sari was in bed and Prowl had shut the lights off to conserve power. Ratchet was in the main room, taking a welding torch to something, and Bulkhead was in the corner, painting by the light of his own optics. Nobody remarked on their arrival, but Optimus still felt self-conscious.

They shared a look. Did they say anything or leave it? Justifying a secret kept between two bots was one thing, but four? Not to mention the Decepticons might tell anyone else.

Prowl walked into the room, his head bowed in thought but snapping up when he noticed Optimus. “Oh, hello. I didn’t think either of you would be back so soon.”

Ratchet glanced over his shoulder, but was too interested in his work to comment. Bulkhead was oblivious. Optimus had forgotten he’d told Prowl when to expect him; judging by the fidgety expression, Bumblebee had the same problem.

“It’s good, though, because I was going out myself,” Prowl said. “I’ll likely be gone all night.”

“Everyone’s awfully busy tonight,” Ratchet muttered.

“Anyway, I didn’t know if I wanted to go since that would have left the base rather empty.” Prowl waved to the two as he went to the door. “Good night guys.”

“See you, Prowl,” Optimus said, breathing a sigh of relief when he was out of sight. For a moment he thought Prowl would blow their cover, but whatever he had planned seemed more engrossing than picking at the holes in their behavior.

“Boss Bot,” Bumblebee started.

“Yeah?”

He rubbed the back of his helm. “It’s...okay, isn’t it?” His voice was very low. “It’s kind of weird, I mean, right?”

“Both of us? I guess. But it doesn’t surprise me much. We’re all great bots.”

Bumblebee smiled, evaporating the last of his anxiety. Then Optimus received a comm.

* * *

Blitzwing stood atop the mountain, under a sparkling sky. He had his comm open, pinging a certain Autobot. Random was out, about to make himself very useful. Megatron stood by him, glancing over every so often.

“Hello Optimus?” Blitzwing saw Megatron’s optics widen. He had maybe a second before the shock broke. “Megatron wants me to break up with Bumblebee what do you think of that hmm?” None but Random could have spoken so quickly yet clearly.

Betrayal crossed Megatron’s features, and under that was a blooming rage, but his own comm being pinged cut him off. He flinched. “...Yes?”

“Megatron!” Optimus growled. “What are you doing!”

“There can’t be two cross-factional couples, Prime.”

“Why not? What’s so wrong about that?”

Megatron glared at Blitzwing. “I am going to kill you.”

“ _Megatron_. Are you upset because you know you can’t sustain our war if we’re all dating each other?”

He frowned.

“You can’t have it both ways, Megs.”

“Don’t call me that when you’re lecturing me. Act like a stern teacher or shut up.”

“Don’t take that tone with me!”

Megatron’s mouth twitched in a peculiarly fish-like manner before he forced out, “Sorry.”

“Blitzwing and Bumblebee will see each other for as long as they want and neither of us will do anything about it.”

“That wasn’t the only reason,” Megatron said. He shifted his weight from one leg to the other, scowled at Blitzwing, scowled at the sky, and finally huffed as he seemed to come to some crucial internal decision.

“What we have is so precarious and unlikely and surreal. You can’t appreciate how long I’ve lived until you’ve, well, lived. Never, for a second, did I think something like this was even possible. To see it happen twice…” He flicked a brief glance to Blitzwing. “...Was unsettling. If we were unique, then I suppose I thought we couldn’t fail because...I don’t know. It’s daft now that I’ve said it.”

“Feelings aren’t stupid, Megatron. So what if we’re not special? That doesn’t mean we’ll fail. And if we were special, it wouldn’t mean we were guaranteed to work.” He paused, and when he spoke again he was slower, thoughtful, “It must be very difficult for someone your age to deal with new things, right? You must feel like you’ve seen and felt everything there is to experience in the universe.”

“Things that exist in ones tend to be better preserved by the people who care about them.”

“We all exist in ones, you know,” Optimus replied with a smile in his voice. “And we care about each other, right?”

“Hmph.”

“Closest thing to a yes I’ve ever gotten out of you! Now, I think you owe Blitzwing an apology.”

Megatron turned. His mouth was a firm line, and it took some time for the words to escape. “I apologize for trying to make you break up with that little yellow one.”

“It’s okay!” Even Blitzwing almost forgot he was there. “Is my little Bee there?”

“Yep! Been here the whole time, Boss Bot told me to be quiet, which is pretty much torture. Oh, h-hey, Bulkhead, Ratchet. Heheh...how long you been standing there?”

The comm fizzed as another bot came into the call. “Where’s _my_ Decepticon boyfriend?” Ratchet asked, his voice scathing and rasping. “Primus, I shouldn’t even joke about that. The only ones left on Earth are Blackarachnia and Lugnut.”

“And they might totally ignore you,” Bumblebee said. “Or maybe you’ll get both at the same time! I don’t judge.”

“You guys...you two…” Bulkhead mumbled. He wasn’t even in the call, his voice being picked up by Ratchet. “Blitzwing…? Megatron? Boss Bot, why?” There was a loud crash.

“Whoa!” Ratchet shifted around. “He’s fine, just out cold. Probably for the best.”

“Ratchet, we didn’t mean for you to find out like this,” Optimus said.

“How did you intend us to find out then?”

“Uh, I dunno. I was gonna ask Megatron how he told his parents he was a Decepticon and base it off that.”

“You what?”

“Anyway, everyone knows now. Except Prowl and Sari, I guess.”

Megatron and Blitzwing shared a frown.

“Where is Prowl now?” Blitzwing asked.

“He went out a few minutes ago. Not long before you commed.”

“Lugnut also went out a few minutes ago, before we commed,” Megatron said.

Silence fell upon the group call as the improbable possibility clicked in everyone’s processors. Optimus, Bumblebee, and Blitzwing broke into loud laughter, too shaken to even speak.

The noise roused Bulkhead, who groaned loud enough to be heard through Ratchet’s comm. “What’s goin’ on?”

“Lugnut and Prowl,” Bumblebee said, recovering slightly. “I never would have guessed those two getting together!”

“ _Lugnut and Prowl_?” Bulkhead practically shrieked. He crashed against the floor again.

Calming down, Blitzwing asked, “I wonder where _they_ go for secret getaways?”

“I can guess,” Bumblebee replied.

* * *

Under cover of a half moon, they sat by the lake. Prowl leaned against Lugnut’s chassis, held in his huge arm. It was a good moment, both of them still, simply existing in each other’s presence.

“Is quiet time over?” Lugnut asked in a whisper.

Prowl chuckled. “It can be. What do you have to say?”

“I heard the craziest thing about Lord Megatron and Blitzwing and your very own teammates. Lord Megatron is dating Optimus, and Blitzwing is dating Bumblebee!”

“Wow. I don’t know what to say. That _is_ something. It explains a lot, though, considering their recent behavior. They’ve been gone a lot, very secretive, so on. You know the signs, too, I guess.”

“Yes. I am very glad we have so stealthily hidden ourselves.”

“Nobody will ever know, love...oh, hey guys. How long have you been standing there?”

**Author's Note:**

> i didn't even intend for that weirdly emotional moment to happen between Megs and Op it's just the way i am


End file.
